November 19th
by lanawords
Summary: Anthology. Related-but-not-quite drabbles to one-shots around and after the war. -mostly post-canon Sasu/Saku, Naru/Hina.
1. 01

**desperate—sasu/saku**

One would not associate the word desperate with her.

No, Haruno Sakura is a tough and prideful and headstrong, with a resolve solid as brick, with will burning like fire. Maybe it does not burn like Naruto's—bubbling and just about steaming, ready to burst into an explosion of hot lava, but it endures, and she has endured _long_. So, no, with all her responsibilities, with everything she has to do, Haruno Sakura does not have time to be desperate.

Except she is.

Because in the darkest and coldest of nights, during this war, her mind would constantly drift to places—or people—that borders with the desperation abyss. Like, for one, the black-haired boy who keeps waltzing in and out her life like it's some kind of a door. She'd scolded herself, numerous times. Countless, even. She shouldn't hang on—there are others, there will be others, and for the time being, she's needed, by her other best friend. And the entire shinobi world.

But as she sees him and as her name slips out of his lips, she feels herself falling all over again, she feels herself grabbing desperately to the last string of love and adoration she's devoted to him for years. She knows that eventually, one day, she'll still have to move on. And maybe, one day, she'll be able to.

But for now, she thinks helplessly, she'll keep holding on a bit longer, cherishing the small exchanges a bit more, and loving every part of him for a while. A desperate little part of her wishes and thinks and hopes that maybe, just maybe, one day she won't have to move on.

Maybe he's the one that will come around.

* * *

**author note: **so i just discovered an old playlist that i really liked (and still like) which i used to make an anthology in the past. aaand then i thought to make a song-challenge drabbles or whatever, but alas, i can't exactly do drabbles man i just go on and on and on and an average three and a half minutes doesn't really cut it. then suddenly this anthology is born.

stories will center around sasusaku or naruhina and their relationships, take place after the war, with shifting point of views for every stories. they'll mostly be romance/angst/hurt-comfort (because i'm an angst junkie that way...and this is a bedtime playlist full of sappy, sad and mellow songs) with ratings up to t. ehehe. hope you enjoy x


	2. 02

**little things—naru/hina**

He thinks it's ironic, how _she _was always the one people claim as shy, _she _was always the one people said was hiding in a shell, _she _was the one who's too afraid to reach out. It's ironic, because she's been reaching out to him for god knows how long, and _she_ was the one who declares her love first, _she _was the one who put thoughts into action (as thoughtless as it was, saving him), _she _was the one who extended a hand, who bravely slapped senses into him when all he did was cowering inside himself.

It's ironic and downright stupid, because even after the war ends, he still can't gather enough courage to go up to her and respond to her genuine confession. It's stupid, because he's too afraid to be around her and too nervous to talk with her (oh how the tables have turned), and now instead of facing it head-on he's avoiding her like a plague.

He's Uzumaki Naruto, the hero of the Fourth Shinobi World War, who defeated Uchiha Obito and saved the world, who was so fearless he once tried to fight Gaara of the Sand and the late Hyuuga Neji, of all people, and chased down Uchiha Sasuke, who was in the hand of a psychotic and creepy scientist duo. He's the fearless and just-go-with-it Uzumaki Naruto, but he runs away at the sight of the beautiful girl who only told him that she loved him.

To think about it, it wasn't like she was pressing him about it—she didn't even ask him to answer, to _reciprocate_. She only said that she loved him and she would stand by him no matter what, period. There had been no 'how do you feel about me?' or 'do you love me too?' or things like that.

She loved him and that was that.

And he was afraid of that thought.

Who was this Hyuuga Hinata, the heiress of one of Konoha's most powerful clans, who willingly gave him her love and her life, and why?

He didn't understand, and he was scared. He wasn't ready.

But that day, she approaches him quietly, smiling her reserved smile and her soft eyes, and maybe it's that crazy fearless side inside him—or maybe it's Kurama—who snaps and tells him to _grow a pair, you dumbass_.

(Yeah, it's Kurama.)

So he ignores the (stupid) fear and cuts her off mid-sentence, and asks her to go watch a movie and have dinner with him. She blushes furiously, and his insides swell with pride. It's a small step, but he's walking there. He's getting ready. For _her_.

* * *

**author note: **how do u naruhina without fluffee. hope you enjoy this one x


	3. 03

**imperfect expectations—sasu/saku**

He knew that _this_—laid upon a white sheet, covered by a white blanket, suffocated by the smell of _sickness_, sore and disoriented—is what was waiting for him when he wakes up. And he doesn't disappoint himself—he's meet with exactly all that. Well, the chakra bind wasn't in the expectation, but he figures, he doesn't have much of those left anyways.

An addition to his expectation is something, but the absence of one point is something else.

He isn't greeted by pink and green and warm smiles. Heck, there aren't even any smell of apples in the air. And that bothers him—but the next second he's even more bothered by how much it _bothers_ him.

Then he senses movement at the corner of the room and he turns her head, almost proud at himself because _now_ all his expectations are complete, only to be met by a man hidden behind a mask. The ANBU officer moves towards him in one swift slide, almost akin to a snake's slithering. He confirms Sasuke's consciousness in a monotonous voice, and then slips out of the room soundlessly.

Sasuke lays back and stares at the ceiling for a while, wondering why discontent swirls in his stomach.

Hours later, after the Fifth Hokage herself checked him up, the door to his room is blasted open not to pink and green and the smell of flowers and apples, but instead boisterous laugh and sunny smiles and eye-hurting orange. He was out for two days, apparently, but the moron in front of him—curse his overwhelmingly fast healing mechanism—was up and awake since the day before. His friend looks oddly healthy and _energetic_ for someone who just freely gave out his life force to the entire world.

And then the question is out of his mouth before he even knows it.

"Where's Sakura?"

Naruto blinks, dumbfounded, before his face breaks into a smile. He tries to save himself from the embarrassment, then, and hastily adds: "And Kakashi?"

It's a futile attempt, he knows it. Naruto's grin doesn't fade when he tells him that Sakura's been busy healing people from all over the world, and he winks when Sasuke tells him to get out, teasingly saying that his greetings will be passed.

* * *

In a perfect world, everything would go back to the way it was, and he would, once again, have a place to call home.

But this is not a perfect world, he is not a perfect protagonist—none of those is the case. This is a cruel world painted with wars and malice and unfairness, and so he scolds himself, for he should have expected _this_ instead of rainbows and sunshine. Because in this world, she is not the same.

It is the same world and he supposes he's still the same him—somewhat—but she's not the same. It throws him off and it makes him uncomfortable and _goddammit wasn't he supposed to be coming _home_?_

She's stronger, that's for sure, and he willingly acknowledges it. And she's smarter than ever, what with her medical ninjutsu being up to par—maybe even surpassing—that of the Slug Sannin herself. He's secretly proud of her, though he might not admit it out loud. She's also quieter, more reserved, more thoughtful, more… mature. And then she's also distant.

He tries hard to follow all Naruto's plans for their team get-together, because he thinks it's the least he can do. Because he thinks it'll make her happy. But no, she doesn't even show up half the time—_busy, just got a mission, the hospital needs more people_—and he thinks he knows why.

She's avoiding him.

At first, he accepted all the busy excuse, and somehow he felt something akin to relief when he caught her cheeks colored in his presence, when she still called him with that old suffix that sounds like home. But then her words are scarce and her smiles are forced and—she starts calling him Sasuke.

Just Sasuke.

At night when she's _'away on missions'_ he ponders too much on the little things he noticed, thinks too much of the cold suffix-less name, wonders too much about _why_. He grudgingly admits to himself that he misses things the way they were, he feels cold, and he doesn't feel quite home yet again.

* * *

**author's note: **_drabbles, i said. _this isn't a drabble ahahahahaha...ha...ha. anyways enjoy!


	4. 04

**night lights—naru/hina**

Even months after, Konoha is still in reconstruction from the war; Naruto's status as a genin makes him prone to missions as mundane as constructing buildings and houses with the carpenters. He, ever the whiner when it comes to unexciting, action-less missions, had confronted the Fifth Hokage about it. Of course, she sent him back to building another damaged house.

A part of the Hyuuga clan compound.

It's a good and a bad thing altogether, because the clan is still mourning for the loss of a prodigy, but there's _her_, who always visits him when he's working, going so far as to making him lunch every day. He never tried once to refuse it. And then, another bad thing, he gets too easily distracted.

It's not directly because of her, rather, it's his wandering thoughts. He thinks a lot, how her cooking tastes really good, how kind and accommodating she is, how sweet and gentle her gestures are. He likes them, and he makes sure to say it out loud.

He thinks a lot of why hadn't he found her earlier. He comes to a bitter answer that it's his own fault for being blind, because, really, now that he has his eyes on her, she's kind of really hard not to notice.

The Hyuugas, unlike the Uchihas, value blood purity above several things, though not up to an extreme extent—but it results in one thing: disturbing similarity. Amidst all the white-eyed, straight-haired Hyuugas, he can always pinpoint her from the others even from a distance.

He loves her hair, which takes a shade of blue, unlike most clan members (including the late Neji, he remembers) and it shines under the sun. Her hair looks so beautiful, so _her_ in all its and hers gentleness and softness glory, and he loves it. She says she got it from her mother.

And then her posse and way of walking is somehow different. He likes it, the way she held herself so elegantly and gently but also looking humble at the same time—a trait most of her clansmen don't have. It's also hard not to fully focus on her when she's talking, because her voice is small and quiet and soft, but it's melodious, and addicting. He wishes Hinata would talk more.

He also thinks she's very beautiful, with her pale, soft skin and pink lips, and so the moment he slips from his self-restraint and kisses them, he knows exactly why he does it. She blushes, and hides behind her bangs, while he simply beams and ignores the blatant stare her father and sister are giving him from a distance.

Naruto likes to think of himself as the sun—narcissism aside, he has always wanted to be a center of attention. It's a little vain, he knows it, but he had seek attention and acknowledgement for so long it became a small part of his personality.

Sappy as it was, he can't help but think of Hinata as the moon. She's a balance to his loud and bright lights, but she reflects them instead of drowning them out, by always standing beside him. She had been a constant he never knew he had, still is, and he's going to make sure that she always will be. He still curses himself for being late, but he thanks the heavens for not making him too late.

Hinata is an answer to his questions and cries of loneliness, a soft embrace and security that will let him shine and keep him grounded. Hinata may not one to radiate a bright light and outshine others, but Hinata _glows._

When he realizes it, he's not even surprised anymore.

Because to him, Hinata is _love_.

* * *

**author's note: **wow talk about sap. anyways enjoy! and thank you for the reviews and favorites, much appreciated. x


	5. 05

**to take a breather—sasu/saku**

She hasn't seen him in two months. Maybe three. She's trying hard not to count—after all, what's there to count for? He's already _here_; she doesn't need to mark the days he was gone, doesn't need to mark how long he has gone—but she knows, a part of her counts his days in Konoha as an unannounced challenge to him. _How long are you going to stay? How much are you willing to stay?_

She skips team meetings, ignores Sai when he bluntly asks, stares straight over Kakashi-sensei's knowing and sad stare every time she runs a checkup on him—Kakashi had been one of the worst wound-bearer, five fractures, internal bleeding, chakra depletion, and of course, his nerves had been too exhausted and overwhelmed by the use of his mangekyo sharingan—and she steers away from Naruto's demanding chatters of her growing absence. It's always the same excuse: busy, missions, the hospital, et cetera, et cetera. She takes Ino, who works at the hospital with mostly the same shifts with her, as her confidante again and so does the blonde girl; Ino knows better. She herself knows better.

He knows better.

The last time she saw him, he tried to talk (or that's what she thought, or maybe that's what she wanted) but before he could open his mouth, she put on a smile and waved and said that there was an emergency at the hospital. He nodded, night-colored hair falling in front of his midnight eyes, and lifted his hand before walking in the opposite direction. She had let out an almost audible sigh of relief, and instantly went on her way.

To home. She didn't even have a shift at the hospital that day.

Sometimes she goes to Ino's—a new habit formed because of the war, after Inoichi passed away—and talk. It's funny how they still click after all the time, after all the stupid rivalry. Lately, Ino often gives her a long stare, clicks her tongue, and tells her she's stupid, because she's Ino and Ino is blunt like that. She never denies.

Because they're both seventeen and they both survived a gruesome war all the same, but unlike Ino, who moved on, who matured, who grew up, Sakura still feel like a nervous and silly twelve year old girl every time Sasuke is around.

* * *

**author's note: **sorry for the delay! exam week has just finished. i finally can sleep for more than three hours again! (not for long though, probably in two weeks it's gonna come in full circle again... screw med school.) anyways, i hope you enjoy this. i'm sorry it's short though! x


	6. 06

**stare—sasu/saku**

"Why won't he look here?" Ino hisses, the space between her eyebrows creasing. She has her body bent forward, only slightly missing the surface of the table, in order to keep her eyes on a lone figure sitting at the far edge of the restaurant. Sakura sighs, ignoring her friend and attacks through her food more fiercely than before, getting more and more determined to leave the restaurant as soon as possible. She's been avoiding a certain ramen stand for months now, and she most definitely will not go back there in the near future—she opted to drag Ino around and seek good, quiet, not-so-popular places to eat and maybe talk with the blonde. Because really, contrary to what she always said to ward off the constant influx of dinner invitation with certain four people, she has quite an amount of free time.

She realized—while a slight smile, because it was ironic given their history—that she always go around with Ino these days (weeks, months). Realized that, even if occasionally some people from the Konoha 9 or some people from the hospital and Shizune-senpai joined them to eat, none of them counts as best friend to her, like Ino counts. She used to eat with a big number of people, have casual hangouts with friends, and such.

Maybe because back then she didn't have anyone to avoid—now, there are a _lot_.

There are the obvious, the members of her old team 7: Kakashi-sensei, Naruto, Yamato-sensei, Sai, and Sasuke. Then from there alone, she got a lot more people to avoid: for instance, she avoids Hinata, because the shy Hyuga princess is almost always with the blue-eyed, loudmouthed and brash blonde who is _not Ino_. She does not avoid them out of hate or dislike, no. Out of what, she doesn't even know.

_Out of cowardice_, a voice laughs mirthlessly.

But big as it was, Konoha was still smaller than the world, and it _is _a small world after all.

Sakura and Ino were planning to enjoy their half-day off and eat out, but maybe it's coincidence or maybe it's high-time for her to stop being a coward, they met steel-cold smoldering coal eyes hidden under pitch-black, messy bangs. _Sasuke_.

Ino has been complaining why Sasuke won't look at them—look at Sakura—and she's been pushing Sakura to go and say hi first. The rose-haired medic argued, saying that it would look completely strange to greet him _now _when they'd met at the entrance and said nothing.

Ino simply said _bullshit_.

But the truth is, even if she and Ino knows he _does not _spare her even a single glance, she felt holes boring through the back of her head. She knows, that even if he does not look, he is staring at her with red-blood eyes. And each passing second, her heart hammers louder inside her chest, and she feels ready to jump and bolt out from the place, eager to continue her long act of avoidance.

"Why the hell are you so fidgety?" Ino snaps suddenly, succeeding in making her jump in surprise. Her blonde friend is staring at her levelly, her bright blue eyes not as electric as Naruto's, but twice as scrutinizing. Sakura almost shrinks under her stare, much like when they were children. Back then, Sakura did so because she was a timid young girl who wanted to feel loved by her friends, but now, she wants to cower, because Ino's gaze speaks loud and clear that she knows.

"It's nothing," she replies, eyes trained on Ino. Eyes are the first part of a person you should look into if you want to know whether or not they were lying. "I just, um, remembered something. I promised to help my mom cook dinner tonight, so, after this, we should hurry so I can have time to shop and—"

"Who do you think you're speaking to?" Ino hisses, clearly insulted. "I'm a _Yamanaka_."

_Of course_, Sakura thinks, and she stabs her food again with the fork, _who am I to fool a Yamanaka._

Ino narrows her eyes and grips her hand. "If you think you can go chicken on me right now and bolt out of that damned door, you're wrong, Haruno," she says, her tone commanding like the person she usually is, "and if you're still not over your fleeing-fiesta from Sasuke, well, suck it and get over it, because Konoha is really fucking small."

Sakura does not answer, but instead stares at her friend with wide, bewildered eyes. Ino's eyes shift for a moment and when they lock with Sakura's again, they're soft with understanding, despite her earlier remark to her. Sakura doesn't have any time to be confused, for the next words Ino utters send her reeling. "Here he comes. Good luck."

Sakura sits motionless, her spoon and fork in each hand, willing herself to not turn around and look who's approaching. In front of her, Ino straightens her top and skirt, then stands. "Hey, Sasuke."

A form is standing beside her now, but Sakura doesn't budge. "Hn," was the only reply Ino got, but she doesn't seem to mind.

"What a great coincidence, can you accompany Sakura? I need to go back to the flower shop,"Ino says cheerily. Sakura shoots her a betrayed gaze, but Ino merely shakes her head slightly and grins. "Bye, you two."

(Since she doesn't let herself look up, Sakura never catches Sasuke saying _thanks_ to the blonde girl.)

* * *

It's Sasuke who moves first. He quietly sits down on the seat where Ino previously sat, in front of her, and _boom_ goes her concentration away. She still tries not to look him in the eyes and instead continues to eat—she knows, at this point, it's painstakingly obvious how desperate she is in avoiding him, and she decides it's too late to change that. She doesn't open conversation first, like she usually did, leaving the task up to him.

She never expected him to talk first; in her mind, he'll probably just sit awkwardly and at the end, maybe she'll talk to him, but only to say _I got to get going_.

That's why, she almost chokes when he talks first.

"You didn't come to the last dinner." _Again_. Even if he doesn't say it, Sakura can hear the word crystal clear in her mind.

"I know," she says, forces on a smile as she dabs her mouth, "I've been busy. Too bad it almost always overlap with my shifts at the hospital."

She makes a mistake: she stares right into his eyes—right into the deep, endless darkness that they are, plunging right into his caging stare. Once she does so, she can't look away, and her peripheral vision somehow begins to blur as faint guilt floods over her.

"You have a lot of shifts," he comments quietly, "the hospital running low on resources?"

_A question_, she thinks absently. Somehow, the current situation feels unnatural. "Yeah, sort of. Training medics aren't easy, you know. It took years. And god knows how many we've lost in the war."

He grunts, and then leans forward, folding his arms on top of the table. He's wearing a dark blue shirt with long sleeves, given the cold autumn winds that often blow across the village. "Won't you tire, with that many shifts," he says—or asks again, she can't tell, with how he hangs the last words openly, making it not quite a question but also not a statement. She bites her lip and ignores the _bangbangbang _inside her chest, and tries to give him a grin.

"You sound like Naruto and Kakashi-sensei," she says, forcing to grin at him cheerily, but the next thing she does is to put her dinnerware down. The next thing she _wants _to do is to _get the hell out of his face_. "Well. I got to get going," she says, blurting out the words that have been stuck in her throat ever since he approached. To her horror, he stands up quicker than she does.

_He wouldn't just let me weave my way out again, _she thinks absently, a dangerous flutter bubbling in her stomach.

The next thing he does throw her in a loop.

"Are you going back to the hospital? Another shift? I'll walk you," he says so fast she has to stop and stare at him for a while to process.

It's simple, maybe even he does it out of courtesy, but the fact that he actually ask that many things and decides by himself to walk her… It makes her think dangerous thoughts. He's _Sasuke_, who's always so scarce in words and never initiate conversation. He's _Sasuke_, who always pushed her away back then and deemed her a bother. _He's Sasuke_, and he shouldn't be the fussy one like Naruto but yet here he is, asking her questions left and right.

He's Sasuke, and somehow, he sounds like he cares.

The words of refusal go back down to her stomach as she swallows, and follows him outside. It's past noon, she and Ino (and Sasuke) had taken their lunch late. The sky is beginning to emit a soft yellowish glow like it usually does above Konoha in bright evenings. The soft yellow waves enhance the color of nature surrounding them, brightening the red and orange and yellow the wilting leaves bear. She'd brought a scarf today, and she envelops herself with it to shield her skin from the ghosting pre-winter wind.

"Actually," she starts after around a hundred or two meters, "I'm not going to the hospital. I, well, I was supposed to go back to my parent's house."

The gaze Sasuke trains on her is undecipherable. "Hn."

A little miffed, given the fact that he was the talkative one back then at the restaurant, she tears her eyes from him and opts to watch the dull trees as they walk. Somehow, familiarity feels a little bitter in her chest.

The walk is silent, but she notices that he doesn't stop to see where they are going, and even, he walks a couple steps in front of her. It's like he knows the way perfectly—and again, it stirs her.

"How do you know the way perfectly, though? I don't remember ever having you eat dinner or lunch at my parents' house?" She says, trying hard to not sound bothered and for her voice to sound lilting and light. She watches him slowly looks at her, thinking, and then he stops and throws his head to the side, looking slightly embarrassed. "I don't know the way," he says simply, and he succeeds in both lifting her worry and making her amused. She walks up beside him and continues the way, the smile she gives him next is one not forced and much lighter than the ones before.

The rest of the walk is still quiet, but the bitterness of familiarity in her chest is slowly replaced with content.

* * *

They stop in front of a seemingly comfy and cozy two-story house with a lot of vines and plants, located in a quiet small road with some similar, but different houses. The front yard is small—much, much smaller than what he had grown up with at the compound—but it has one thing his front and backyard didn't: a cherry blossom tree. He casts one fleeting look at Sakura before looking back at the house, thinking that this was the house in which Sakura had grown up, this was Sakura's beginning. He idly wonders if the inside is as homey as it looks on the outside, and if Sakura sets her apartment similarly to her house.

"So," she says, shifting her weight uneasily, "this is my stop. Thanks for walking me home, Sasuke-k—, um, Sasuke."

Trying to pull half of his mind from the unsaid word, Sasuke instead thinks how the autumn is cruel to him; how it makes him a little sick and overwhelmed. The color orange the sun constantly emits, the leaves and ground and trees constantly reflects, all of it, makes him suddenly aware of how pretty Sakura's skin color is and how fitting the pink dusting on her cheeks is to it. The light makes her hair glows, and the wind only makes him aware of it more.

It makes him feel odd.

He's a little—or a lot—disappointed with himself, really, when he can only respond with his trademark noncommittal grunt, and he can't even look her in the eye, instead pretending to be too interested with the exterior of her house. He's a little… pleased that she doesn't make a move to enter the small wooden gate for a while.

"It's probably much smaller than your house, isn't it?" She says, and when he turns to face her, she has a small smile on her face, but she's not looking at him, she's looking at her house.

"It looks… nice," he says lamely, and she laughs quietly, shaking her head.

"Compared to your grand main house, though? Still nice?"

He thinks about the big, grand and tough exterior of his house—all black hardwood pillars, dark wooden doors, and hard floors. He thinks of his yard, lacking a certain pink-colored tree but has a couple of others, and the rose shrubs his mother grew. When he thinks of his house during those times, Sakura's house _does _seem less.

But he thinks of the weeds and peeled black paint revealing dark woods, the overgrown shrubs and trees, and he nods. "It seems quite," he stops, searching for the word, "comfortable."

"Huh," she says, a fond smile on her face, "it is."

She steps toward the gates and Sasuke doesn't even realize he calls her out.

"Sakura."

She turns around and gives him that smile again, the one which isn't as forced as more than half the smiles she's given him over the course of these couple weeks… months, almost a year. He swallows.

"Yeah?"

"This Saturday, team dinner."

He watches her smile disappears completely and curses internally for making that turn out wrong. He clears his throat. "Can you come?"

She blinks a couple times and then looks to the side, her expression hassled and contemplating. He's already preparing for a refusal, another lame (lame, because he has long admit that her excuses were just that: excuses, and they're lame) excuse, and he prepares himself to just go with it, again.

"Uh, well, sure," she says suddenly, and he's not even sure he conceals his surprise. She smiles, again, this time a little as forced as the ones before, "I mean, I've been skipping it for god knows how long… It's about time I make it up to Naruto and Kakashi-sensei."

He nods, feeling a little guilty.

"A—and you! And Sai and Yamato-sensei too. I'm so horrible," she laughs, and he knows she forced every bit of it. "But—ah, I think I need to go now. What time would it be at Saturday?"

He thinks for a short while, "Seven."

"Okay. Where? Please don't tell me it's Ichiraku," Sakura says, and then looks at him sadly, "It is, isn't it?"

When he doesn't dignify her a response, Sakura thinks for a moment, "Tell you what, to make it all up to you I'll just host it at my apartment. Sounds good?"

Even if she's a little uncomfortable, she looks so genuine he doesn't have the heart to refuse, so he nods. He watches her as Sakura all but hurries inside, leaving him staring at the wrong colors the cherry blossom tree wields because of the season.

* * *

**author's note: **"unrelated drabbles" ha HAhaha i'm laughing so much. WHO AM I KIDDING. this thing is not in the least unrelated and totally not a drabble...ohmygod i'm losing control in life.

ANYWAYS. i'm sorry for the delay. this month has been... interesting... (it kicked me in the freakin ass) i am so tired with everything, college only gave me like a 2-days-break for christmas and only one day for new year. like, my day offs are only 25th & 26th and then at the 1st. not to mention i have an exam at 27th and the 31st. OH COLLEGE. HOW I LOVE YOU DEARLY.

i'm sorry, i should not be complaining like this here. that was embarrassing.

by the way, if any of you found grammar mistakes/any kind of mistakes, please feel free to point it out! english isn't my first language and i don't have a beta, so there's bound to be tons of mistakes in my writings. but please be nice when you do it? thank you so muchhh i love you all.

i hope you enjoy sasuke and sakura slowly getting some closure! x


	7. 07

**lightning–sasu/saku**

a/n: this is probably a little confusing, what with it being in kakashi's pov and all. it's just that i want to take a jab at how others look at sasuke & sakura's relationship in this drabble series. you're going to see a theme/vibe/pattern in this particular one, because, again, it's _kakashi _looking into sasuke & sakura (here it's mostly sasuke). i'll explain it later, now to the fic we go!

* * *

It's another day nearing winter, meaning another day damp and cold with chill. Kakashi stands in the periphery of the Third Training Grounds, and walks toward an old monument that has already been neglected by most citizens. There is a new monument now, similar but with new names, that thrives with visitors almost every day after the war. There is one name on the new monument that had been written already on the old one.

He prefers to visit the old one instead of the new monument, in regard to paying respect to that one name. But that's because he much prefers to remember the one name by the old, incomplete memory. He puts the flowers—was a pain to get remembering the season—in front of the stone, and stares down at the one spot he's memorized so well.

There's nothing much to tell now after the war, but he still visits the stone and Konoha Cemetery almost on a daily basis, just for the sake of routine.

"So," he starts, "it's been a while since the war ends."

He chuckles lightly, realizing it's getting harder to talk to the stone nowadays. "We've kind of lost things to talk about, don't we? Someone in the council suggested me as the Rokudaime."

There is a silence, like there always was following his words for the stone. Kakashi is used to it. "I told them to appoint Naruto instead," he says, taking a deep breath, and smiles slightly under his mask, "but the Godaime herself recommends Sakura."

There is a small pang of guilt as a scene flashes upon his vision. It is one that consists of three preteens: a boy whose smile is brighter than his sunshine hair, a sweet girl with unorthodox coral hair looking meek, and last, a disgruntled boy with black hair and black eyes that flash red. Like one of his eyes.

It flashes to another scene where he's facing the black-haired boy, with a crackling lightning the boy wields imperfectly on his hand.

And another, where he watches the sunshine-boy left with the master of his own teacher, and another, where he looks at how the sweet girl follows the Godaime Hokage around the hospital.

Then there's another, a bigger stab of guilt that strikes through his chest, when he remembers the last time he'd seen each one of them: the coral-haired girl—or young woman, it shall be—he hasn't seen her in a long while, and, he sadly thinks, maybe not in the near future. The bright, blue-eyed hero he just recommended as the sixth Hokage, he ate with him two weeks prior.

But the boy with black eyes that he hasn't seen flaring red in a while, he just ate with him two days ago.

"How ironic," Kakashi says out loud, "I think I don't have it in me to be a good teacher, Obito. Not when I always neglect one or more of my pupils. And when I don't, I neglect the other."

He spots someone in his periphery vision, in the center of the Third Training Grounds, and he turns around to see clearer with his visible eye. And then he hears it, the sound he knows so well he can imagine it exactly in his mind.

There's a boy with black hair and not-so-black eyes, a lightning crackling out from one of his arms.

With a last look at the stone, Hatake Kakashi channels chakra to his feet and jumps toward the boy.

* * *

Chidori is always one flashy move: for an assassination jutsu, it creates a very loud and distinctive noise. When it hits the target, it creates an even louder sound of lightning strike, with a blindingly bright flash of light. He watches Sasuke wield it around in a katana form, and folds his arms.

"Kakashi," his former pupil says flatly. He never once felt bothered by the lack of formalities and honorifics behind his name as the young Uchiha always said it.

"They don't drain your chakra anymore, do they?" Kakashi says, voice equally flat and devoid of actual interest. It's one of their many similarities that Kakashi had realized: they don't show emotions much in social interactions, even if they do show _tons_ during certain battles.

"Still do," Sasuke says, dropping to the ground. Kakashi watches the red of his eyes dissipates into the black. "Only much less."

As Sasuke runs his hand through his hair, Kakashi notes that he's troubled—it's easy to read Sasuke, once you (mostly females) get past the distractingly good looks and you get past the dark aura looming around. Kakashi is not a mind reader—not even close, but he supposes he could make up his unfairness to Sasuke once.

"Would you humor me a spar?" Sasuke says suddenly, catching him off-guard. On any other day, he'd nod and jump into it right away, but not today.

"No, sorry, I have a mission tomorrow. Should save chakra," Kakashi answers after contemplating for a few moments. Then, feeling that Sasuke might be looking for him intentionally, guilt hits him all over again. "Do you want to tell me something?"

With Sasuke, Kakashi can be his actual blunt self. The Uchiha stiffens, and then nods slowly.

"When," he hesitates, and Kakashi patiently waits for him to continue, "was the last you meet Sakura?"

_Now that_, he thinks, _is new._

"I'm not sure," Kakashi answers honestly, another emotion other than regret (because he has a lot of that, a lot for everyone)—_amusement?_—starting to settle in, as he stares down at Sasuke shifting around uncomfortably. "Around, say, one—two? Two months ago, I think. That was when I went back from a mission and got injured. If I'm not mistaken, she rarely, if ever, join us in our team meals. So does Naruto, for these last meetings."

Sasuke clicks his tongue impatiently. "She never does," he says, unaware of Kakashi's amusement.

"Yes," he says simply, prompting Sasuke to continue. "She never does."

"Not even once," the raven says again.

"Yes."

There's silence falling in between the two similar but not-quite teacher and former pupil, and what fills the air is only the sound of distant cries of actual birds. Kakashi observes Sasuke quietly, keeping patience as the once-criminal, now-hero (or not quite), stares off to a distance, creases obvious on his forehead as he struggles to find the right words. Kakashi often finds himself feeling somewhat masochistic these days every time he spends time with the last Uchiha—there's always this mixed feeling between sympathy and discomfort that he gets from their many, _many _similarities. Yet, as much as the Uchiha reminds him of his own self and his own flaws, Kakashi always forces himself to stay with the young man, sharing quiet talks.

Sasuke inhales sharply, and runs a hand through his already disheveled hair. "I met her today," he says, then clears his throat, "Sakura."

"And?"

"I, well," Kakashi is more amused than anything now, seeing Sasuke's uncharacteristic fidgeting, "invited her to our team dinner."

Kakashi raises an eyebrow, but he's hardly surprised and he smiles under his mask. "I wasn't aware that there is."

"There isn't," Sasuke retorts, and eyes Kakashi sharply, "yet."

Chuckling, Kakashi folds his arms and leans over to a familiar post of the Third Training Grounds. "But since you already invited Sakura, it means that there _is_ a team dinner now," he concludes, and then pauses for a while, "and I assume you're inviting me now?"

"No," Sasuke says automatically, catching Kakashi a little off-guard, "I mean—yes. I don't know."

There's an idea that Kakashi is vaguely aware of about where the conversation is going, and he, in fact, likes the idea—though he tries to remain thoughtful, and he wants to hear it straight from Sasuke. "No, you're not inviting me, no, you don't want me to come, or yes, I am invited, but you don't want me to come?" He asks with a barely-there teasing edge to his voice, and chuckles as Sasuke scowls at him. "Have you invited Naruto?"

Sasuke's scowl deepens. "No, I haven't."

Kakashi ponders for a moment, flittingly looking at the darkened sky, all the while trying to observe Sasuke and his clueless subtlety. "So that's how it is. Want to catch dinner and a few drinks, Sasuke?"

"I don't drink," he says sourly, but he walks with him anyways. Kakashi keeps him at the side where his visible eye is, and he notices the dissatisfaction of unsaid things in Sasuke's face. "It's—"

"Don't let the opportunity pass," Kakashi tells him, growing a little impatient. _This_, the whole vibe of discomfort he's been getting from Sasuke in talking about comradeship—or more, when it's concerning the only kunoichi in both his original and expanded team, he's always believed—is something he can also sympathize with. There's an unspoken thing both he and Naruto are aware of; it is that they know Sasuke feels that Sakura's long act of avoidance is caused by him. Now this, is actually almost a fact, given how obvious the kunoichi is, but Sasuke is not the most sensitive of people—again, another point he can understand, having the trait himself. "Talk to her alone. You and her are, after all, teammates."

Sasuke narrows his eyes at Kakashi before looking away. "Don't you want to meet her?"

"I'm sure that I, Naruto, Sai and Tenzou will have many opportunities to meet and spend time with her in the future," Kakashi shrugs nonchalantly. There's a point implied, and Kakashi senses that Sasuke understands, but with Sasuke Kakashi can always be blunt.

"I think the ones she wants to meet is you, Naruto and the others," Sasuke says dryly. "Not me."

"That's what she says, Sasuke," Kakashi smiles and pats Sasuke's shoulder, "good luck."

* * *

**author note: **ok i owe you an explanation, i know this drabble series isnt about kakashi but _i love him can you blame me i think about him a lot a lot_. i have this headcanon (it's partly canon tbh) that kakashi is really angsty about his students, particularly sasuke. he blames himself a lot, and he gets guilty easily. like, he's team 7's sensei, but naruto then trains with jiraiya while sakura becomes tsunade's apprentice; while (in my hc) sasuke only considered kakashi as his only mentor figure/he doesn't really form a student-teacher bond with orochimaru. kakashi feels guilty a lot because he thinks he should've taken better care of sasucakes. another one is that kakashi is actually hyper aware of his similarities with sasuke and this adds to his guilt even more

tbh kakashi is my favorite character but i think depressing thoughts about him a lot

next up: NH for NH month! and hope you like this one x


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